Jokes We Like

Why is the letter A like a flower?………..It gets followed by a bee (B)!

 

What flowers grow on faces?……Tulips (two lips)

 

What is the best season for a trampoline?……..Spring-time!

 

What do you get when dinosaur cars crash?………….Tyrannosaurus Wrecks!

 

What do you call a fossil that never ever works?……..Lazy Bones!

 

What is a T Rex’s favorite number?……..Eight (Ate)

 

What do you do when you see an elephant with a basketball?………Get out of its way!

 

KNOCK! KNOCK! Who’s there? Irish! Irish who? Irish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

 

Why did the leprechaun cross the road?…….To get to his pot of gold faster!

 

What is a nuahcerpel?…….Leprechaun spelled backwards!

 

Why did the man cross the road?……Because he saw a leprechaun following a rainbow!

 

Have you ever seen a six leaf clover?……Me either!

 

When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato?……When it’s a FRENCH fry!

 

What does a leprechaun call a big happy guy?…..The jolly green giant.

 

Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?…… Because they are green!

 

What does a cat go to sleep on?…….A caterpillar!

 

What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and goes round and round for hours?……a cat in a tuble-drier!

 

What happened when the man stole the pig?……It squealed to the police!

 

What is the best way to hold a bat?………..By the handle!

 

What do bats sing when it’s raining?…………Raindrops keep falling on my feet!

 

What did one bat say to another bat?……….Let’s hang around together!

 

What is smarter than a hummingbird?…….A spelling bee!

 

What kind of can never needs a can-opener?…..A peliCAN!

 

KNOCK! KNOCK! Who’s there? Oscar! Oscar who? Oscar if she likes me!

 

KNOCK! KNOCK! Who’s there? Arthur! Arthur who? Arthur any chocolates left for me?

 

KNOCK! KNOCK! Who’s there? Justin! Justin who? Justin time! Here’s your Valentine!

 

What is a ram’s favorite song?…….I only have eyes for ewe, dear!

 

What travels around the world but stays in one corner?…..A stamp!

 

What did the stamp say to the envelope?…..Stick with me and we’ll go places!

 

What did the wizard’s cat say in the mirror?…….Don’t you look purrrrrr-fect!

 

KNOCK! KNOCK! Who’s there? Osborn! Osborn who? …………..Os born today so that makes it my birthday!

 

Why did the spy think the forgery was hilarious?…….Because of all the funny money!

 

What stands in New York holds a torch and sneezes a lot?…..The Ah-choo of Liberty!

 

What famous bear needs to wear diapers?…….Winnie the Bear Submitted by Fatima

 

KNOCK! KNOCK! Who’s there? Sultan! Sultan who? Sult and pepper make every thing taste better

 

What do you get from an arctic cow?……Cold cream!

 

Why can’t an egg tell a joke?…..It might crack up!

 

What is a tree’s favorite drink?…Root beer!

 

Why are frogs so happy?………They eat whatever bugs them!

 

What did the water say to the boat?……Nothing, it just waved!

 

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark?…….Frost Bite!

 

Why does Santa have three gardens?……So he can hoe, hoe, hoe!

 

Why is Blitzen always wet?……Because he’s a “rain” deer!

 

How long does it take for a candle to burn down?….About a wick!

 

What does one snowman say to the other?…..Do you smell carrot?

 

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?…..Frosted Flakes!

 

What do elves learn in school?……The elf-abet!

 

What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?……..The letter D!

 

Who’s black and white and goes, “Ho-ho-ho?”……….A penguin in disguise!

 

What goes ho-ho whoosh, ho-ho whoosh?……..Santa stuck in a revolving door!

 

What often falls at the North Pole but doesn’t get hurt?……..Snow!

 

What is white and goes up?……..A confused snowflake!

 

What do you call an old snowman?…….Water

 

What kind of bike does a polar bear ride?………An ice-cycle! Submitted by Eduardo

 

What kind of bird can write?…….. A pen—guin!

 

What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?….I’ll have a boo Christmas without you!

 

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?………..Frosted flakes!

 

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?……YES! A building can’t jump!

 

What kind of key has legs and can’t open doors?……A turKEY!

 

If April showers bring May flowers, what does May flwers bring?……Pilgrims!

 

What side of the turkey has the most feathers?……..The outside!

 

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?………The outside!

 

Why was the turkey the drummer in the band?………….Because he has drumsticks!

 

Why did the turkey cross the road?………….Because it was the chicken’s day off!

 

Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the Spring?……..Because April showers bring May flowers!

 

Why did the turkey pop a wheelie?………To prove he wasn’t chicken!

 

Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”?…………Because they never learned good table manners.

 

Why is a turkey on Thanksgiving like a ghost the day after Halloween?……..Because he’s gone today, but just the day before he was a-gobblin’!

 

Why was the turkey wearing pink sneakers?……… Because his boots were being repaired!

 

What is round and red and goes up and down, up and down, up and down?……….A cranberry on an elevator!

 

Why is a couch like turkey?………They’re both full of stuffing!

 

What’s orange and falls off walls?……..Humpty Pumpkin!

 

What holiday do wolves celebrate in the fall?…………Howl-oween!

 

What is Transylvania’s national sport?………….Drac racing!

 

How does a monster score a football touchdown?……….He runs over the ghoul line.

 

How does a witch tell time?……….She looks at her witch watch!

 

What was the favorite game at the ghosts’ birthday party?………..Hide and shriek!

 

What do witches put in their hair?……….Scare spray!

 

What kind of mistakes do spooks make?………..Boo-Boos

 

Why don’t skeletons like parties?………..They have no body to dance with!

 

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?………Dayscare Centers!

 

What do you call a fat jack-o-lantern?………….A plumpkin!

 

What do you call a skeleton who won’t work?……..Lazy Bones!

 

Why does a spider spin a web?……….Because it does not know how to knit! Thanks to Weekly Reader for the funny joke.

 

What do you call a friendly dead Egyptian?………….A chummy mummy!

 

What was the witch’s favorite subject in school?………Spelling

 

What did one cool ghost say to the other?…………Get a life, dude! Submitted by Kayla

 

What did one hurricane say to the other?……….Let’s go for a spin! Thanks to Weekly Reader for this joke

 

When is it bad to meet a black cat?………..When you are a mouse!

 

Why do witches fly on brooms?…..Vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough!

 

What do ghosts serve for dessert?…………Ice scream!

 

What do skeletons say before they begin dinner?………..Bone Appetit!

 

Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?………….He didn’t have the guts!

 

What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?…………A Smartie Pants

 

Where was the Constitution signed?……..At the bottom. As seen in our Weekly Reader

 

Why did the dog cross the road twice?…………She was trying to fetch a boomerang!

 

What did the judge say when the skunk came in to testify?……………Odor in the court!

 

How does a dog say roof?……………..Woof, Woof! Submitted by John

 

Who has the last name star?……………Patrick Star Submitted by Fatima

 

How does a mouse feel after it has taken a bath?………Squeaky clean!

 

Have you heard the joke about the giraffe?…………….It’s really over your head!

 

Why didn’t the puck go to jail?…………The goalie saved it. Submitted by Jack

 

What do fish like to paint with?………….Watercolors!

 

What do you call a monkeys real pal?……….a chum-panzee.

 

Why do janitors get in trouble with their parents?…………Because they always have to stay after school.

 

What do cats like about computers?…………….Pushing around the mouse!

 

What does a cloud wear?…………….Thunder pants.

 

When is the ocean friendly?……….When it waves.

 

What do you get when you cross a dog and an elephant?………..A squashed dog!

 

What did the math book say to the doctor?……………..I’ve got a lot of problems!

 

Is your refrigerator running?…………….You better go catch it! Submitted by Ryan

 

Why can’t you tell an egg a joke?…………….It might crack up!

 

Why did the sun go back to school?…………So it could be brighter! Submitted by Evelyn

 

Do you want hear a joke about construction?………………….I’m still working on it! Submitted by Jack.

 

Where does a sheep put his books?………………in his baaaaackpaaaaaaack

 

Why did the tree fail his math test?……………………it was stumped

 

Why isn’t your nose 12 inches long?……………………….it would be a foot

 

What is a cow’s favorite subject in school?…………………moosic

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